One point for intuition

I haven’t been good at following my intuition, or at least following it with deliberate intention. Eventually, it does get me. Intuition, fate or whatever you want to call it bring me to where I need to be at the end of the day, but looking back I think I get to it the long way round. l can point to a few things that I believe conditioned me to not listen to my intuition and instead listen to what others expect of me. Growing up I was taught to listen and respect my elders, to be polite, to be kind, to be humble and to shrink at gifts and compliments. I was taught to be a good little girl, one that didn't jump at gifts, and instead, politely reject them unless the giver profusely insisted. It took me till my late teens to be able to take a compliment without reciprocating and to reply with a simple "Thank you." So I wasn't brought up to listen to my needs and my desires. My needs were to be put aside for the sake of politeness, agreeableness, kindness, humility. I don't reject this upbringing as it taught me some wonderful ideas of empathy, kindness, selflessness and how to be a team player. But it has made it difficult for me to discover what I really want at times. I am a rather indecisive person as a result. And while the intent behind my indecision has always been to be agreeable and to put others first, I find it can be aggravating not just to myself but to others. Who wants to constantly receive a question as a response to a question all the time? I'm trying to be better and to make decisions and be clearer about what I want. I hope that my ability to make decisions more definitively will be a gateway to finding and turning up the volume on my intuition in other areas of my life. Writing helps to filter through the noise and get to the root of what I'm thinking, feeling and needing. But I think the small acts of decisiveness in my daily life can help build the muscles that are required to hear, listen and follow your intuition. For instance, today I felt the call to write. And here I am. One point for intuition. I'm sure this piece is riddled with grammatical errors, but today is not the day for perfection–or even grammar. Today's simply for putting pen to paper and feeling accomplished that I followed the call.